2013 recap

hello there loves !

kyaa today is the last day of 2013 /yeay and should i add a little bit, last day of holiday! :) can you see how excited i am haha that is definitely with sarcastic tone ladies and gents . sobs so im gonna do some 'wrap' lol to my 2013. so basically, it was a great year. indeed.

JANUARY
well in jan i went to my sister house, malacca. basically january was 'well' spent with non-stop increasing the amount of fats in my body ! haha and here some selca of me and my little ones ! haha i love him so much kk. he's my only friend there. lol. and yeah ! that is the beginning of my life as exo fans. haha you can see my bias derping there XD dont let me start with his cuteness asdfgjkl ;;

FEBRUARY

and then february ! actually i started working as cashier in petronas by the end of jan, but meh. can't you see how 'oh-so-hardworking' i am. mann it was great! and tiring, im not gonna lie to you. sometimes i wish i can stop standing and just lie there lol. i had to work in what around 8 hours like that? no sitting at all can you feel me? haha but still, it was great and it does make me think 'wow it is hard to make money' haha and there is my workmates? they're all so nice. ugh i wish i can turn back time. have i tell you that i went to mcD almost everyday while working there? why? because it just next to where i work sooo.... XD

MARCH

well in march, it was when all 95-batch student didn't sleep at night before the result came out. haha let be honest here, i didn't even thinking about the result. i was peacefully sleeping yo. haha and the next day. you need to see how pathetic i look like. swollen red eyes. crying too much because of my not so good result. sobs. and the worst thing is, i HAD to work for 16 hours on the day the result came out. most of the workers are in my age that time. im the only one who didn't take the result cause, daaa i was awayyyy from my hometown.

APRIL

and then in this month, i quit with working thingy.and head back to le hometown weee. i was super duper excited. i miss my mom soo much. and of course my friend. but yeah, it's kinda sad tho leaving all bittersweet memories there. i took a lot of photos with them actually. hehe. and yeah of course i met my beloved bestfriends who i called "little sister"(cause im the oldest one) now. and the picture, bottom left. that dark (hahaha) man is my brother. and the others were his friends. he's the one that fetched me from airport keke. 

'

MAY

Okay in this month ! i am officially a student. again ! the only different was, PRE-U student. haha i never thought i would go back there but sadly(?) i did. you should read my previous posts about how frustrated i am cause i didn't make it to university. not that my result that bad, i guess. just not my luck. the first day was okay. ands then i started to accept the life as student again. hehe. and as a junior to senior pre-u students. we have to organise everything for teachers day. and i'm in food department ! haha i must admit, i enjoyed the foods, much. /sorry cikgu. Andd exo made a comeback after a freaking year. i was sooo happy when i saw the tweet that they gonna make a comeback, like uff about time SM. you've been keeping these ridiculously handsome boys for a longgg time. haha

JUNE

okayyy mid year holidayyy ! haha june was the month for me and my friends to visit my non-muslim friends who celebrate Hari Gawai. we called it 'ngabang' here in sarawak. it was a lot of fun! it doesn't have much different with hari raya celebration. ohya! my friend me told me one thing, all the man in the village must visit all houses there and with a little speech or something, i can't remember well tho. amazing isn't it? i think it is! and yeah my classmates decided to 'make over' our classroom! plus i went here and there that month. still not in exam mode /lazy as always

JULY

it was the month that im officially eighteen. and it was muslim fasting month. sure theres a lot of photos but mehh i won't let you guys suffer from my ewww selfies. keke. i can't recall what the event in that month i guess there's nothing really interesting except for school in stuff. and 

AUGUST

yehet ~ Hari Raya Celebration ! haha well it was great. idk how does people in the city celebrate Hari Raya but i celebrate it in my hometown, sure it was moreee fun there! and i met my bf cough after a whole year mann long distance relationship is hard but um im fine with it now. read here if you wanna know how sad my first day Raya was. and here some of my family photos. okay you can see me and my brothers looks diff because of our skin color, simply because i stay home and they went out, no i am not adopted. some people asked me am i adopted or what because i look diff from 'em what the crap hahahah. as usually, went out with my friends, because that is the only time we can meet. sobs

SEP & OCT & NOV

the month that i started to panic ! of course because stpm is around the corner, and yes we r busy with studies, homeworks and all that. it was hella stressful months. not enough time to sleep. everything was so ugh tiring. i did cried without reason, too much maybe. well heck, im not that strong. hehe it was a lot of extra classes for us. it was indeed, a hectic, tiring days i've been going through. and the woman in pink is my general studies teacher ! she is the nicest teacher ever ! haha i really hopeee im gonna pass her subject. /finger cross. 

DECEMBER 

well i guess you knew it already. how did i spent my holidays. haha eat, sleep, read, fangirling. just that, period. haha 

So, this is my 2013 experiences(roughly) ofcourse. it was filled with much fun. yeah a lil bit of down moments, but hey ! that's life right? i love new year ! i'm not gonna forget this year, but i am sure i will try to be a better person in 2014. and create new,good, happy memories. and make new friend. do well in studies.  eat less. aamiin. 

idk if i'm gonna post anything after this, cause im surely gonna be occupied by school things next year, nevertheless, i hope all of my readers here gonna have a blast in 2014, happy new year. be happy and healthy , and may odds be ever in your favor haha kidding ! /flying kisses/ 

till then, goodbye. and assalamualaikum :) xx

p/s sorry for typos or mistakes, you knoww me hehehe and plsss ignore my face ;<

p/s/s im leaving you guys my-boyfriend-who-doesn't-know-my-existance picture. i know. creepy

Libster Award

Assalamualaikum and hello people <3 kyaa it's been awhile since i last updated isn't it? how are you doing guys? Okay let's just do this okay, i am nominated by this pretty girl Janice for this libster award. Tbh i don't quite understand lol and thank god there's Mister Google keke. okay let's start noww

•  For those who have less than 200 followers on Bloglovin, this is a great opportunity for small and news blogs to find new readers and connect with everyone in the blogging community!

•  If I have nominated you, all you have to do to receive the award is to follow me on Google Friend Connect (GFC) and then answer a few questions! Make sure that when you nominate people you are following them and send them a message letting them know you have done so (suggest at most 11 nominations).

 My Nominators goes to /drumrolls
Fatin - http://fatinhumairah94.blogspot.com/
Najihah - http://supersweetcola.blogspot.com
Lee - http://xoxo-layhunhan.blogspot.com
Mi - http://justbemi.blogspot.com/

okay i'm gonna answer some question from Janice haha im soo excited lol

1 ) What made you start blogging?
  I start blogging from a post i read from fb, it's about thirteen years old girl who has brain cancer. She has a blog and her posts was quite sad about how people around her ignore her even she's sick. her posts make me think "should i make my own blog, people can read what i felt if i'm gone" something like that haha i know it's silly. But the owner of the blog really passed away tho. Al Fatihah :(

2 ) What TV shows did you grow up watching?
 I think i grew up watching That's So Raven lol and maybe Spongebob too, until now 

3 ) What is your scariest nightmare?
 What a great question ! It was my nightmare around couple days ago and i swear it's the scariest nightmare i ever had. It's about all people around me, i mean all of them includes my neighbourhood became a zombie ! and of course i survived with a freaking rifle with me! haha scary isn't it? right? ;>

4 ) What's one of your nervous habits?
 Usually i bite my lips and get stomach ache, everytime if i'm nervous. my bf knows that haha well, mehh 

5 ) What is the first thing you notice about a person?
 Um their eyes or the way they speak? haha idk but i definitely look into their eyes first lol 

6 ) What quote/phrase do you live by in your life?
 I'm not sure if i have any but i  usually/always remind myself to not give up and to not care about what people say. yeah 

7)If you had one personal "selfish" wish, what would it be and why?
ONE? haha i have many of them actually. but right now, my wish is I want to meet EXO D.O and spend a day with him not as a idol and fan, but as friends. why? because i want to know what kind of person he is in real life HAHA . Can? puhlissss

Okay done! haha i enjoyed answering these questions. sorry my answers quite ugh boring and typical but it's 6 a.m right now and i'm sleepy keke sorry sweetheart! <33

so here's my question ~~
1. What is blogging for you? 
2. What kind of person you think you are?
3. Your favorite movies and novels?
4. Supernatural power you would love to have?
5. One word to describe yourself
6. Where would you like to travel to and why?
7. Zombie apocalypse or end of the world, why?
8. Your fav singer/band.
9. What is your opinion about KPOP?
10. If i'm your genie right now, and i will grant 3 wish, what will it be?

okay, that's all for now ! keke till then, bye xx

Can you stop it?

Assalamualaikum and hello y'all :))

How are you doing? I hope each and everyone of you doing great in this holidays yeah? :) and me? Same old routines. Nothing new except for extra latenight snacks lately with my sis. Ugh i can never stop eating and growing fatter day to day sobs. What can i do, it makes me happy hihik

So im here to share or maybe just saying my opinion about people who are so full of themselves. Yes, i admitted i do live or befriend with these kind of people around me. Tbh, im not liking this. Uh no no. I dont like people who are arrogant or insults others like they are better(?) or whatever they think about themselves. Whatever it is, they need to get a grip and wake up. I've witnessed much of insulting going on in front of me, maybe not by tongue (idk what word suitable haha) and maybe just for fun-joking manner but not everyone open about what they felt. Just like me. Haha. But really, calling people with such a disrespectful words uh huh that is not fine. Okay let set an example, "these people" calling others fake and ugly just becauce they used effect or beauty camera on their pictures. It may seems like a little issue, but i dont think it is. Maybe they are insecure with how they look because people like "you" surely gonna insult 'em. You can't expect others to be perfect or fit your taste perfectly. Nah, ain't nobody gonna please you, sorry not sorry. Jgn nak perasan k. Unless you are purrfectt enough to judge, to call others with disrespectful words yes, you are welcome to do it as much as you want which i think you will never be. Like ever /insert evil smirk/ haha.

Whatever it is, we knew that not everyone satisfy by what they have. We can't change that. Hihi. So yeah, let's avoid and throw away all negative vibes. Try to think before you do anything, you never know it would cause others sadness. :)

P/s this is just of of never ending rants of mine lol ignore all the weird mistakes winkkk

P/s/s i'm typing this while listening EXO's The First Snow omgerddd im cryingg-while-fangirling lol

Okay, thats all for now. Goodnight lovelies /throw virtual flying kiss/

Day out with familia

Assalamualaikum and hello there.
How are you guys been doing? Enjoying your holidays? Yes? Good. Cause i don't. Haha yeah basically holidays are just "space" for lazy bum like meee to stay home and being anti-social girl. There's nothing to do here, really. You know i live in rural part of Sarawak. So... Ain't no fun here. The only "fun" i found was a miracle-ish thing called...... YOUTUBE ! I've been watching so much drama (kdrama) and movies. Actually im currently re-watching The Master's Sun. I watched it two times already. Yeah, because it is THAT good. Keke

So back to the tittle, i went out with my family today. Not all of them just my 2nd sister plus her troublemaker sons, my mom and my lil bro. Yeah it was great. So i decided to share the photos (awkward) But stupid me, the only photos i took was when we were eating. Haha XD. Took them with the only available camera(?) at that time which is my ipad (excuse the very low quality picture) so bear with mee kkk ^^

This is my queen hehe isn't she a cutiee <3 x)

My sister, her son and mom's awkward smile haha XD

The youngest

The naughtiest one x)

My lil bro (13) and my nephew (7)

Idk why i took this one hahah

Hehe so that is part of my family. And yeah if you notice, my lil bro are not so tall type and almost as big as my nephew, and he is seven. wow wow he gonna grow up as a tall boy i think. I did took my own photo but i can't show it hereee it may cause damages to your eyes so i left you guys with this onee. Yes that is me /blush haha

Okay thats all for now. Oh ya. Do you know the series called The Walking Dead? Ugh it is one episode late here in Malaysia buttt too many spoiler and i found out Hershel was killed by that stupid governor. Ugh i hate him! I am thankful enough he's dead too /yeay. Hershel was one of my favorite after Daryl and he's dead. Tragic. 

I guess thats it lol. Till then. Byeee x 

P/s excuse the broken english x)

MY DAD IS CRUEL !

hello there, assalamualaikum :)

its 4 a.m in the morning. and im still wide awake. haha i just finished the novel i read for awhile,
a well written novel 'Thanks For The Memories' by Cecelia Ahern.
well it is really a good story. well for me.
haha idk how to do a review tbh. Good news ! stpm penggal 1 finally over YEAY /throws confetti/
as soon as i got out from the exam class. i was like, tons of  'burden' i've been dealing this whole time finally gone. and other kids was like 'what yr answer for this' 'ugh idk how to answer that question' and yada yada hihi tbh i dont really care about that. why bother to care.
not like you can do anything about it. now all you can do is tawakal and pray for the best. isn't it?

i hv sooo much plans in mind. gonna read books and sleep and eat and repeat it all over again. so great.
and yeah. my sister from malacca gonna be here with her family in um a day? yeay !
she's my favorite sister <3 she's just too nice. i like the way she talks to me. compared to oldest sis. she is much more gentler. haha but i love both of them equally still. lol
its just my oldest sister quite um strict, well i understand since she's a navy, haha. and my nephews gonna be here soon. and if they are here. in this house of mine. i can never touch my ipad. ever. ever.
y'all know kids with games in stuff.

and thankfully. i have books or novels i still need to read. but ugh i still need a phone. i lost um no my phone died. i hv no phone. and the only way i contact my love and my friends are with my ipad.
when i heard my sis gonna be home soon. i called my dad. asked him to buy me phone ! asap. he was like. um berapa sen? haha dad yr joke was not funny. i srsly need a phone.
and last night. he told me 'you're not getting yr phone until form 6 over sweetheart'
NIGHTMARE.
which is mean im gonna live without phone for a freaking year? :((
someone tell me how to live. how. hOW. HOW

im being emotional rn. and i hv right to be one. im a phoneless 18 years old girl. sobs

alright good morning, love. see you when i see you xx

Hello exam weekkk

Hello hye there !

Can somebody just knock my head right now cause im suppose to study cause my STPM penggal 1 starts tmr omggggg *gasp* idek what am i doing here. Im not lazy (maybe) im just UGH tired. Those who took p.am should know how tiring it is to remember all things bla bla bla and read it all over again i just can't :< or is it just me? But hey! Who am i to complain ha ha . My fault for not giving attention when cikgu teaching in class. Im so stupid ! 😑

Kk basically right now i am sooo nervous. A lot. Mega nervous.and nervous leads to stomach ache and that leads to toilet hihik I dont think i can sleep tonight oh god help me sigh. Okay if i fail this paper then i am doomed. So mind if i ask something? Does it mean you are stupid if you repeat the failed papers? Nah im just asking. I hope it is not. Cause idk i dont hv much confidence rn now Um maybe 60 out of 100? Whatever it is i really hope everything gonna be okay tmr and works just fine ! Aamiin.

P/s i hv so much to tell you guys (if any of you gonna read this lol) but yeah see ya in two weeks in shaa Allah :) wish me luck and for those taking stpm too , may odds be ever in your favor ( effie's voice) haha bye assalamualaikum x

Damn examination

hye there,

its been awhile now huh? yeah it is i guess. okay its 2.23 am in the morning. i cant sleep -_- i just cant.
idk why lol. i've been sooo stressed and depressed and basically my days was quite, wasted lately. i am sooooo stress abt my studies. i tried my best. i guess my best is not best all ? i got my result for first trial. and it was. worst than rodrick's voice. or even sparrow's breathe smell. i didn't study my heart out for that kind result. this is suck okay

so anyone who got a undeniably stupid result, would feel bad right? and of course they will work even more harder. so that is what am i doing rn. and plus. my teachers. i mean all of them giving us a loads of homeworks. tons of them. so i need to do my homeworks. and study at the same time. its hard. but they said no pain no gain. sleep is luxury now. its about 3 weeks left. maybe less. for me to get ready. and sometimes i just got, too tired. like i felt like doing anything. and i awfully ignored people around me. all the texts, abd calls, and chats. everyone. i mean EVERYONE. i just lied down listening to paramore songs. idk what is wrong with me. its just me. i tend to keep all i felt, and what im thinking about. i just kept it to myself. i know i should spill out all the emotions inside me. but i have no words for it. okay this is soooooo FRUSTRATING. also my beloved boyfriend. poor him. im sorry, sweety :( but everything just got out of control.

so since my stpm is near,guys pls pray me also k. hehe /wink/

currently im reading dear john. a book given by my beautiful sister <3 she gave me this book like 3 month ago, and i still didn't finish it, yet? sigh. sad? yeah. i actually hv a plans after stpm. im gonna fins moneyy in any way haha  to buyyyy the hunger games books ! omgggg im dying to have that series. i love peeta haha. okay tbh i actually know about hunger games from movies. and they said the books are wayyyy better. so i desperately need it. yeah its actually true ya know. books always better than movies. its always like that. and yeah i need to replace my sister book too. i lost hers. accidently, like no intention at all. yeah i'm careless pls.slap.me.now. ugh. kakak if you read this, im so sorry :( i swear sik sngja. and dont worry. i will replace it. i promise ! im sorry :((


okay guys bye now, assalamualaikum x


intan.

Long time no see

Hello haii assalamualaikum ^^

Kyahhhh its been awhile snce i last updated my blog right? I miss to write things that going on with my life sigh my laptop gave me big time headache. I cant use it to do my work okay. So now i hv to update with my ipad which is erkk. Weird i guess....

Okay today, i didn't go to school. Why? Hee well i ride motorcycle to school, and its raining. Hard so i cant go lah. And this week, i skipped two days of school include today keke well maybe im just too lazy. I should punish myself for being so lazy. Idk i cant help it. Lately all i did was lazying myself around. Laying watching tv god i want to wake the f up myself but. Uh idk. 

Plus, i noticed that i hv variety kind of sickness. Headache, stomach ache, i even throw up. A lot. Mehh its weird. Its only came to me sometime. But i can deal with it. My raya experiences? Sigh my first day eid spend by sleeping in my room. You guys should see what my face looks like back then. It was, HORRIBLE i tell you. On the eid night, i didn't sleep until 5 a.m b/c i keep throwing up. Eww all things i ate that day being dump by my body. In the morning after the prayers, and ofcourse my family continue the tradition *asking for forgiveness thingy* and yeah after that we went to graveyard to visit my late grandma and grandpa graves. And BAM! I passed out. I freaking passed out at the graveyard in front of erghhh so many people. And i throw up too right there. It emberassing.  I cant even walk which is my uncle HAD to back piggy me. I know i am soo damn heavy. And my family brought me too clinic and thank god its open. 

And the next day. Ahamdulillah everything is fine :> so now its already the end of august. Around 2 month left for my first sem. I really hope i will get a great result. I regreted it soo much for not study hard enough in spm tho. But it already passed soo i need to focus on this one. Keke

Okay thats all meh. See ya guys xx

intan

self reflect to be better?

hello greeting :) k i dont want to really greet anyone cause i dont have a follower to greet lol. but if you are reading this. hello and assalamualaikum :)) okay. tonight. it'll be a little different. previously as you can see, this blog is all about my rant about KPOP . tch yeah so today....

okay. so i was scrolling my twitter timeline cause obviously i have nothing better to do. and then, i found one of my unnie tweet. and i read it . it was sure a long post. its about an ex kpoppers. she write about how much she loved and adored kpop just like me rn.

and tbvh, i felt a pang in my heart. its like a sudden slap to tiny heart of mine. its reflect me of myself rn. subhanallah. what i did before. a crystal tears drop from my eyes. Oh Allah, this is how ignorant i am? all things i read, and saw. basicly its making me forget what i should do as a Muslim. no. im not blaming kpop.
im not blaming them because kpop are music which i love, too much. it is myself who letting me to flow way too far from my daily way of life. i let myself curse a rude words. and ship thingys. that is totally idiotic mind of mine, it is so wrong that i support their pairing. i dont support gay things. but their brotherhood just, amazed me :( and i can remember their birthday but can't even remember important dates as a muslim. there's no one else to blame except for myself.

i never spend any money to kpop. i never have enough money to buy their album. i do aware of my status. that make me more sad, and feel pathetic. after school i would sit inside my room with my ipad. looking for the updates. its like im living in my own fantasy world. in other word, i spend my time too much for kpop. on holiday i'll always sleep at morning. sometime i didn't sleep at all. i once put a lot of posters in my room but last year i ripped it of because it prevent our 'malaikat' to enter our room. again, theres only myself that can be blame.

"There comes a time when you have to let go of those who are pulling you away from Allah"-Abdul Bary Yahya. this is the quotes from that post. yeah its true. i've being a kpoppers since i was 16. and now i am 18 (in one month) im not saying tonight i made up my mind and leave kpop. NO. nobody change that fast. i'll try to lessen my time on watching them. b/c tbh im basicly spending my time to kpop too much. its like my hobby so its hard to get rid of it. even if my passion towards kpop maybe fades away someday. they'll always in my mind but not more than my Creater Allah swt. i'll support them. in proper and good way. the way that doesn't make  me forget.

idk how long i'll be a kpoppers. but honestly. we all gonna grow up someday. and someday i will leave kpop world. and leave my fandom as well. but i'll never forget any events while i am kpoppers.

i'll change for better insyaallah. not to the perfect one but to the one that i should be. Aminnn...

Intan,

Fangirl mode strikes !

hyeee to me :D well its the middle of night, uh no. its 3 a.m and i am wideeee awake. can't sleep disease lol.

k i wanna tell you something. not important but who cares? this is my blog so i do what i want. kekeke

EXO had their first win on music bank yeayyy :D haha it was, hm couple days ago. 

omg. i swear i have tear in my eyes when i saw Suho. he's giving speech while crying. it was a moment of silence when he cried. idk bout others, but i am touched with his words. and baby KAI  cried too. oh kay exo is a cry baby group. confirmed! im watching music bank on live streaming. that is when i cried. and then, i found the video on yt. i watched exo performance and the winning announcement again. tbh i laughed ! haha

k, i cried at first cause i dont really notice suho's derp face. and when i watched it 2nd time. it was hilarious !

haha. sorry Suho omma :P and today ! the have their 2ndwin ! ofcourse as a fans i am happy. i hope they will get triple crown after this ;)

k talking about kpop. i know not so many people like kpop. its obvious lol. and lately, when i go onl on twitter. there are nth of tweets. bashing kpop. of course its hurt when they said kpop is trash, useless, and whatsoever. for me, kpop is a genre. a type of music. idk why people hate it so much. i dont blame them. maybe in their eyes. kpop idol doesn't have talent. yeah. if they said kpop is all about their appearance, hmm some of them yes. some of them no. hating kpop is like you hate something that you don't know. for me.

they do have talent. they are talented. i don't think people can actually sing while dancing a hard dances move, except Michael Jackson he is a legend. but im not comparing mj with k-idol here. 

k-idol can sing, and dance at the same time. each one of them have a their own specialty. so why blamed them? hmm i really dont give a damn to people that hate sooo much, insulted them like they know them a lot. they doesn't even know anything about kpop yet talked like mr know it all. its not fair. well when i see this kind of people on my tlist. i blocked them rightaway. obviously it is a pain in my eyes. haha no matter how haters insult, hate them. they are still succesful. and got lot of money than all of haters combined. aha

so thats all. yeah my clear purpose for this post is just to rant. haha kbyee im going to read books rn :)

Intan,

p/s im reading The Perks of being a Wallflower, its awesome <3 blockquote="">

Comeback and Dissapointment

hello people hye hye its 3:36 a.m here at malaysia. lol idk sleeping late and stay up all night like this really became part of me now. i have so much things to do yknow XD haha no, i'm busy as a fangirl ofcourse  so first thing first, my lovely EXO boys just have their comeback today. and i was like, sticking to both my laptop and ipad from noon till now lol. so their comeback was. how can i say it in one word. its AMAZING. as an exostans i really proud of my boys. they did a good job. so basicly. we exostans waited for them almost a year, we have been through so much together in this fandom. millions rumors of their comeback but never true. and their constantly changing hair color making us puzzled and confused. the rumors of one member leaving the group. and when some of the members sick and we worried as hell. when some fans left this fandom because tired of waiting their comeback. so literally it is too much to say. so today at mnet countdown, exo comeback stage. they are amazing boys. waiting over a year for that amazing comeback stage is worth it. i bet they worked hard, really hard for their fans. yes, i heard it when some irresponsible people, leaked their whole albums, their dance practise. and truthfully they dont deserve that kind of treatment. they worked their bone-tiring comeback. they even fight with each other due to the stress.hearing that made me teared up. they are sweet caring boys. and when some of them cried. whole fandom cried too.  it brokes our heart. for those people who downloaded or want to download the leaked songs, no please think twice. that is not how we pay the boys for their hard work. they deserve more. a lot more than that. okie so that is my story about exo. and here's another one. lol im telling too much to you didn't i? hmm nvm talking to myself like this make me felt better. so, i'm already in form 6. and now we are having mid-year holiday. a few days ago. i got a news from my friend. a good news. good for her not for me :< my bestfriend got an offers to U. and she also in form 6 right now so easy talk she gonna leave me soon :'( /insert ugly sobbing here. before the holidays, we already checked the upu result and non of us get anything. now slowly, one by one my friends got it. and here i am. locking myself inside my room asking, "why not me?" no, form 6 is good indeed. it is the same. but i want to free myself and my mind. see more things outside there. idk why but somehow, i feel useless, i regreted it soo much cause i messed up with my study previously. i am jealous. some of them got the course that i've been dying for. it does breaks my little heart a little bit. im still hoping. but im quite sure it will never happen. what can i do? yes, just swallow the truth then. k thats all from me, my eyes getting heavy now. good morning <3 center="">

excuse the broken english :)