Saturday, 29 June 2013

self reflect to be better?

hello greeting :) k i dont want to really greet anyone cause i dont have a follower to greet lol. but if you are reading this. hello and assalamualaikum :)) okay. tonight. it'll be a little different. previously as you can see, this blog is all about my rant about KPOP . tch yeah so today....

okay. so i was scrolling my twitter timeline cause obviously i have nothing better to do. and then, i found one of my unnie tweet. and i read it . it was sure a long post. its about an ex kpoppers. she write about how much she loved and adored kpop just like me rn.

and tbvh, i felt a pang in my heart. its like a sudden slap to tiny heart of mine. its reflect me of myself rn. subhanallah. what i did before. a crystal tears drop from my eyes. Oh Allah, this is how ignorant i am? all things i read, and saw. basicly its making me forget what i should do as a Muslim. no. im not blaming kpop.
im not blaming them because kpop are music which i love, too much. it is myself who letting me to flow way too far from my daily way of life. i let myself curse a rude words. and ship thingys. that is totally idiotic mind of mine, it is so wrong that i support their pairing. i dont support gay things. but their brotherhood just, amazed me :( and i can remember their birthday but can't even remember important dates as a muslim. there's no one else to blame except for myself.

i never spend any money to kpop. i never have enough money to buy their album. i do aware of my status. that make me more sad, and feel pathetic. after school i would sit inside my room with my ipad. looking for the updates. its like im living in my own fantasy world. in other word, i spend my time too much for kpop. on holiday i'll always sleep at morning. sometime i didn't sleep at all. i once put a lot of posters in my room but last year i ripped it of because it prevent our 'malaikat' to enter our room. again, theres only myself that can be blame.

"There comes a time when you have to let go of those who are pulling you away from Allah"-Abdul Bary Yahya. this is the quotes from that post. yeah its true. i've being a kpoppers since i was 16. and now i am 18 (in one month) im not saying tonight i made up my mind and leave kpop. NO. nobody change that fast. i'll try to lessen my time on watching them. b/c tbh im basicly spending my time to kpop too much. its like my hobby so its hard to get rid of it. even if my passion towards kpop maybe fades away someday. they'll always in my mind but not more than my Creater Allah swt. i'll support them. in proper and good way. the way that doesn't make  me forget.

idk how long i'll be a kpoppers. but honestly. we all gonna grow up someday. and someday i will leave kpop world. and leave my fandom as well. but i'll never forget any events while i am kpoppers.

i'll change for better insyaallah. not to the perfect one but to the one that i should be. Aminnn...



Nur Ain said...

Akak , akk baca pasal ex-kpopper tuh kt mana ? im really2 need it . because , ain pun nk berubah . hope akk boleh kasi. :'D

D.OWifey said...

follow here~

INTAN D.O said...

@Nur Ain here you go adik

@D.OWifey thankyou sweety, done follow you too <33