Saturday, 29 June 2013

self reflect to be better?

hello greeting :) k i dont want to really greet anyone cause i dont have a follower to greet lol. but if you are reading this. hello and assalamualaikum :)) okay. tonight. it'll be a little different. previously as you can see, this blog is all about my rant about KPOP . tch yeah so today....

okay. so i was scrolling my twitter timeline cause obviously i have nothing better to do. and then, i found one of my unnie tweet. and i read it . it was sure a long post. its about an ex kpoppers. she write about how much she loved and adored kpop just like me rn.

and tbvh, i felt a pang in my heart. its like a sudden slap to tiny heart of mine. its reflect me of myself rn. subhanallah. what i did before. a crystal tears drop from my eyes. Oh Allah, this is how ignorant i am? all things i read, and saw. basicly its making me forget what i should do as a Muslim. no. im not blaming kpop.
im not blaming them because kpop are music which i love, too much. it is myself who letting me to flow way too far from my daily way of life. i let myself curse a rude words. and ship thingys. that is totally idiotic mind of mine, it is so wrong that i support their pairing. i dont support gay things. but their brotherhood just, amazed me :( and i can remember their birthday but can't even remember important dates as a muslim. there's no one else to blame except for myself.

i never spend any money to kpop. i never have enough money to buy their album. i do aware of my status. that make me more sad, and feel pathetic. after school i would sit inside my room with my ipad. looking for the updates. its like im living in my own fantasy world. in other word, i spend my time too much for kpop. on holiday i'll always sleep at morning. sometime i didn't sleep at all. i once put a lot of posters in my room but last year i ripped it of because it prevent our 'malaikat' to enter our room. again, theres only myself that can be blame.

"There comes a time when you have to let go of those who are pulling you away from Allah"-Abdul Bary Yahya. this is the quotes from that post. yeah its true. i've being a kpoppers since i was 16. and now i am 18 (in one month) im not saying tonight i made up my mind and leave kpop. NO. nobody change that fast. i'll try to lessen my time on watching them. b/c tbh im basicly spending my time to kpop too much. its like my hobby so its hard to get rid of it. even if my passion towards kpop maybe fades away someday. they'll always in my mind but not more than my Creater Allah swt. i'll support them. in proper and good way. the way that doesn't make  me forget.

idk how long i'll be a kpoppers. but honestly. we all gonna grow up someday. and someday i will leave kpop world. and leave my fandom as well. but i'll never forget any events while i am kpoppers.

i'll change for better insyaallah. not to the perfect one but to the one that i should be. Aminnn...


Sunday, 16 June 2013

Fangirl mode strikes !

hyeee to me :D well its the middle of night, uh no. its 3 a.m and i am wideeee awake. can't sleep disease lol.
k i wanna tell you something. not important but who cares? this is my blog so i do what i want. kekeke
EXO had their first win on music bank yeayyy :D haha it was, hm couple days ago. 
omg. i swear i have tear in my eyes when i saw Suho. he's giving speech while crying. it was a moment of silence when he cried. idk bout others, but i am touched with his words. and baby KAI  cried too. oh kay exo is a cry baby group. confirmed! im watching music bank on live streaming. that is when i cried. and then, i found the video on yt. i watched exo performance and the winning announcement again. tbh i laughed ! haha
k, i cried at first cause i dont really notice suho's derp face. and when i watched it 2nd time. it was hilarious !
haha. sorry Suho omma :P and today ! the have their 2ndwin ! ofcourse as a fans i am happy. i hope they will get triple crown after this ;)

k talking about kpop. i know not so many people like kpop. its obvious lol. and lately, when i go onl on twitter. there are nth of tweets. bashing kpop. of course its hurt when they said kpop is trash, useless, and whatsoever. for me, kpop is a genre. a type of music. idk why people hate it so much. i dont blame them. maybe in their eyes. kpop idol doesn't have talent. yeah. if they said kpop is all about their appearance, hmm some of them yes. some of them no. hating kpop is like you hate something that you don't know. for me.
they do have talent. they are talented. i don't think people can actually sing while dancing a hard dances move, except Michael Jackson he is a legend. but im not comparing mj with k-idol here. 
k-idol can sing, and dance at the same time. each one of them have a their own specialty. so why blamed them? hmm i really dont give a damn to people that hate sooo much, insulted them like they know them a lot. they doesn't even know anything about kpop yet talked like mr know it all. its not fair. well when i see this kind of people on my tlist. i blocked them rightaway. obviously it is a pain in my eyes. haha no matter how haters insult, hate them. they are still succesful. and got lot of money than all of haters combined. aha

so thats all. yeah my clear purpose for this post is just to rant. haha kbyee im going to read books rn :)


p/s im reading The Perks of being a Wallflower, its awesome <3 blockquote="">