MY DAD IS CRUEL !

hello there, assalamualaikum :)

its 4 a.m in the morning. and im still wide awake. haha i just finished the novel i read for awhile,
a well written novel 'Thanks For The Memories' by Cecelia Ahern.
well it is really a good story. well for me.
haha idk how to do a review tbh. Good news ! stpm penggal 1 finally over YEAY /throws confetti/
as soon as i got out from the exam class. i was like, tons of  'burden' i've been dealing this whole time finally gone. and other kids was like 'what yr answer for this' 'ugh idk how to answer that question' and yada yada hihi tbh i dont really care about that. why bother to care.
not like you can do anything about it. now all you can do is tawakal and pray for the best. isn't it?

i hv sooo much plans in mind. gonna read books and sleep and eat and repeat it all over again. so great.
and yeah. my sister from malacca gonna be here with her family in um a day? yeay !
she's my favorite sister <3 she's just too nice. i like the way she talks to me. compared to oldest sis. she is much more gentler. haha but i love both of them equally still. lol
its just my oldest sister quite um strict, well i understand since she's a navy, haha. and my nephews gonna be here soon. and if they are here. in this house of mine. i can never touch my ipad. ever. ever.
y'all know kids with games in stuff.

and thankfully. i have books or novels i still need to read. but ugh i still need a phone. i lost um no my phone died. i hv no phone. and the only way i contact my love and my friends are with my ipad.
when i heard my sis gonna be home soon. i called my dad. asked him to buy me phone ! asap. he was like. um berapa sen? haha dad yr joke was not funny. i srsly need a phone.
and last night. he told me 'you're not getting yr phone until form 6 over sweetheart'
NIGHTMARE.
which is mean im gonna live without phone for a freaking year? :((
someone tell me how to live. how. hOW. HOW

im being emotional rn. and i hv right to be one. im a phoneless 18 years old girl. sobs

alright good morning, love. see you when i see you xx

Hello exam weekkk

Hello hye there !

Can somebody just knock my head right now cause im suppose to study cause my STPM penggal 1 starts tmr omggggg *gasp* idek what am i doing here. Im not lazy (maybe) im just UGH tired. Those who took p.am should know how tiring it is to remember all things bla bla bla and read it all over again i just can't :< or is it just me? But hey! Who am i to complain ha ha . My fault for not giving attention when cikgu teaching in class. Im so stupid ! 😑

Kk basically right now i am sooo nervous. A lot. Mega nervous.and nervous leads to stomach ache and that leads to toilet hihik I dont think i can sleep tonight oh god help me sigh. Okay if i fail this paper then i am doomed. So mind if i ask something? Does it mean you are stupid if you repeat the failed papers? Nah im just asking. I hope it is not. Cause idk i dont hv much confidence rn now Um maybe 60 out of 100? Whatever it is i really hope everything gonna be okay tmr and works just fine ! Aamiin.

P/s i hv so much to tell you guys (if any of you gonna read this lol) but yeah see ya in two weeks in shaa Allah :) wish me luck and for those taking stpm too , may odds be ever in your favor ( effie's voice) haha bye assalamualaikum x

Damn examination

hye there,

its been awhile now huh? yeah it is i guess. okay its 2.23 am in the morning. i cant sleep -_- i just cant.
idk why lol. i've been sooo stressed and depressed and basically my days was quite, wasted lately. i am sooooo stress abt my studies. i tried my best. i guess my best is not best all ? i got my result for first trial. and it was. worst than rodrick's voice. or even sparrow's breathe smell. i didn't study my heart out for that kind result. this is suck okay

so anyone who got a undeniably stupid result, would feel bad right? and of course they will work even more harder. so that is what am i doing rn. and plus. my teachers. i mean all of them giving us a loads of homeworks. tons of them. so i need to do my homeworks. and study at the same time. its hard. but they said no pain no gain. sleep is luxury now. its about 3 weeks left. maybe less. for me to get ready. and sometimes i just got, too tired. like i felt like doing anything. and i awfully ignored people around me. all the texts, abd calls, and chats. everyone. i mean EVERYONE. i just lied down listening to paramore songs. idk what is wrong with me. its just me. i tend to keep all i felt, and what im thinking about. i just kept it to myself. i know i should spill out all the emotions inside me. but i have no words for it. okay this is soooooo FRUSTRATING. also my beloved boyfriend. poor him. im sorry, sweety :( but everything just got out of control.

so since my stpm is near,guys pls pray me also k. hehe /wink/

currently im reading dear john. a book given by my beautiful sister <3 she gave me this book like 3 month ago, and i still didn't finish it, yet? sigh. sad? yeah. i actually hv a plans after stpm. im gonna fins moneyy in any way haha  to buyyyy the hunger games books ! omgggg im dying to have that series. i love peeta haha. okay tbh i actually know about hunger games from movies. and they said the books are wayyyy better. so i desperately need it. yeah its actually true ya know. books always better than movies. its always like that. and yeah i need to replace my sister book too. i lost hers. accidently, like no intention at all. yeah i'm careless pls.slap.me.now. ugh. kakak if you read this, im so sorry :( i swear sik sngja. and dont worry. i will replace it. i promise ! im sorry :((


okay guys bye now, assalamualaikum x


intan.

Long time no see

Hello haii assalamualaikum ^^

Kyahhhh its been awhile snce i last updated my blog right? I miss to write things that going on with my life sigh my laptop gave me big time headache. I cant use it to do my work okay. So now i hv to update with my ipad which is erkk. Weird i guess....

Okay today, i didn't go to school. Why? Hee well i ride motorcycle to school, and its raining. Hard so i cant go lah. And this week, i skipped two days of school include today keke well maybe im just too lazy. I should punish myself for being so lazy. Idk i cant help it. Lately all i did was lazying myself around. Laying watching tv god i want to wake the f up myself but. Uh idk. 

Plus, i noticed that i hv variety kind of sickness. Headache, stomach ache, i even throw up. A lot. Mehh its weird. Its only came to me sometime. But i can deal with it. My raya experiences? Sigh my first day eid spend by sleeping in my room. You guys should see what my face looks like back then. It was, HORRIBLE i tell you. On the eid night, i didn't sleep until 5 a.m b/c i keep throwing up. Eww all things i ate that day being dump by my body. In the morning after the prayers, and ofcourse my family continue the tradition *asking for forgiveness thingy* and yeah after that we went to graveyard to visit my late grandma and grandpa graves. And BAM! I passed out. I freaking passed out at the graveyard in front of erghhh so many people. And i throw up too right there. It emberassing.  I cant even walk which is my uncle HAD to back piggy me. I know i am soo damn heavy. And my family brought me too clinic and thank god its open. 

And the next day. Ahamdulillah everything is fine :> so now its already the end of august. Around 2 month left for my first sem. I really hope i will get a great result. I regreted it soo much for not study hard enough in spm tho. But it already passed soo i need to focus on this one. Keke

Okay thats all meh. See ya guys xx

intan

self reflect to be better?

hello greeting :) k i dont want to really greet anyone cause i dont have a follower to greet lol. but if you are reading this. hello and assalamualaikum :)) okay. tonight. it'll be a little different. previously as you can see, this blog is all about my rant about KPOP . tch yeah so today....

okay. so i was scrolling my twitter timeline cause obviously i have nothing better to do. and then, i found one of my unnie tweet. and i read it . it was sure a long post. its about an ex kpoppers. she write about how much she loved and adored kpop just like me rn.

and tbvh, i felt a pang in my heart. its like a sudden slap to tiny heart of mine. its reflect me of myself rn. subhanallah. what i did before. a crystal tears drop from my eyes. Oh Allah, this is how ignorant i am? all things i read, and saw. basicly its making me forget what i should do as a Muslim. no. im not blaming kpop.
im not blaming them because kpop are music which i love, too much. it is myself who letting me to flow way too far from my daily way of life. i let myself curse a rude words. and ship thingys. that is totally idiotic mind of mine, it is so wrong that i support their pairing. i dont support gay things. but their brotherhood just, amazed me :( and i can remember their birthday but can't even remember important dates as a muslim. there's no one else to blame except for myself.

i never spend any money to kpop. i never have enough money to buy their album. i do aware of my status. that make me more sad, and feel pathetic. after school i would sit inside my room with my ipad. looking for the updates. its like im living in my own fantasy world. in other word, i spend my time too much for kpop. on holiday i'll always sleep at morning. sometime i didn't sleep at all. i once put a lot of posters in my room but last year i ripped it of because it prevent our 'malaikat' to enter our room. again, theres only myself that can be blame.

"There comes a time when you have to let go of those who are pulling you away from Allah"-Abdul Bary Yahya. this is the quotes from that post. yeah its true. i've being a kpoppers since i was 16. and now i am 18 (in one month) im not saying tonight i made up my mind and leave kpop. NO. nobody change that fast. i'll try to lessen my time on watching them. b/c tbh im basicly spending my time to kpop too much. its like my hobby so its hard to get rid of it. even if my passion towards kpop maybe fades away someday. they'll always in my mind but not more than my Creater Allah swt. i'll support them. in proper and good way. the way that doesn't make  me forget.

idk how long i'll be a kpoppers. but honestly. we all gonna grow up someday. and someday i will leave kpop world. and leave my fandom as well. but i'll never forget any events while i am kpoppers.

i'll change for better insyaallah. not to the perfect one but to the one that i should be. Aminnn...

Intan,