Monday, 24 November 2014

Staying strong is hard

Omg hiii

Hahaha its been freaking ages i dont even know if people still read blog nowadays but meh i dont care i still wanna write tonight ☺️☺️

Okay, first of all. I am freshly graduated pre-u student ! Yay thank god i finished my studies in form 6. After all "fuck this shit" "i've had enough" "thats it im done" i actually finished it. Yay for myself ! Seriously. It was really damn hard. And im not even in university yet. I was hoping i would get into one one day. I finished my finals which a little hard than i thought. Idk. Usually exams are a little easier than trials in school so i was like, damn. Im screwed. Nevermind that, its over now all i can do is pray for the best right.

And yeah. From june until now. Well i wouldn't say im having best time in my life. It was a roller coaster months. I lose people i love. I gained people who loves me. About losing the person i love so dearly. I swear to god. It was a tormenting moments ive ever had in my 19 years of existence. She was the other me. Everything we did, we are always together. Even we kinda far away from each other. We texted each other like every fucking day. What i like, she would like it too. I mean our taste in music, our point of view in life. Basically. She was my mirror. She was. But shit happened. We dont talk to each other anymore. It was really hard and sad. Really sad. Till now. I would be lying if i said i didnt think about her anymore. Of course i do. But, i guess theres nothing we can do to make it better. I think she prefers it like this. And honestly, i dont think we can change things to the way it was. There are too many circumtances, too many feelings, too many hearts. To take care of. I am sorry to the others tho. Just because of us. We fell apart like this. And they hv to deal with us. I am really sorry. I dont mind if im getting the hate. Really. Its not fully my fault, not hers too. Idk. I think, our own egos brought us to this situation.

To think that over half decade friendship would break just like that kinda absurd. But yeah. This is life. People come and leave. They moved on. So am i. Thank god, in my down moments, i still hv people that support me. I want to talk about him. The guy who actually the reason of all things that happened. Tbh, i didnt even think i would actually date him. It seems too, impossible. But then again. Nothing impossible. And here we are. I am happy. Not always happy. We fought, a lot. But we somehow manage to talk about it and all that. But yeah. I really am happy. I mean. He is suck sometime. But i love him. Haha

And now im in my holiday mode. Yay. Not really. It is kinda bored. I spent my time with animes and movies and novels. And im currently reading Message in the Bottles by Nicholas Sparks. I hv about 60+ pages left. And currently watching Kuroko no Baske anime. Sighs. Why cant anime guy be real? Scratch that. Im going to malacca. In this week. Sighs. I dont want to go. But theres nothing i can do. You know. I always wanted to be a girl who independent. In every aspects. I guess my family wouldn't let me. Not now.

Okay, im tired. And sleepy. Kinda miss school and all my lads. Oh ya, im in love with 5 seconds of summer lmao. Alright see ya! Bye

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