Staying strong is hard

Omg hiii

Hahaha its been freaking ages i dont even know if people still read blog nowadays but meh i dont care i still wanna write tonight ☺️☺️

Okay, first of all. I am freshly graduated pre-u student ! Yay thank god i finished my studies in form 6. After all "fuck this shit" "i've had enough" "thats it im done" i actually finished it. Yay for myself ! Seriously. It was really damn hard. And im not even in university yet. I was hoping i would get into one one day. I finished my finals which a little hard than i thought. Idk. Usually exams are a little easier than trials in school so i was like, damn. Im screwed. Nevermind that, its over now all i can do is pray for the best right.

And yeah. From june until now. Well i wouldn't say im having best time in my life. It was a roller coaster months. I lose people i love. I gained people who loves me. About losing the person i love so dearly. I swear to god. It was a tormenting moments ive ever had in my 19 years of existence. She was the other me. Everything we did, we are always together. Even we kinda far away from each other. We texted each other like every fucking day. What i like, she would like it too. I mean our taste in music, our point of view in life. Basically. She was my mirror. She was. But shit happened. We dont talk to each other anymore. It was really hard and sad. Really sad. Till now. I would be lying if i said i didnt think about her anymore. Of course i do. But, i guess theres nothing we can do to make it better. I think she prefers it like this. And honestly, i dont think we can change things to the way it was. There are too many circumtances, too many feelings, too many hearts. To take care of. I am sorry to the others tho. Just because of us. We fell apart like this. And they hv to deal with us. I am really sorry. I dont mind if im getting the hate. Really. Its not fully my fault, not hers too. Idk. I think, our own egos brought us to this situation.

To think that over half decade friendship would break just like that kinda absurd. But yeah. This is life. People come and leave. They moved on. So am i. Thank god, in my down moments, i still hv people that support me. I want to talk about him. The guy who actually the reason of all things that happened. Tbh, i didnt even think i would actually date him. It seems too, impossible. But then again. Nothing impossible. And here we are. I am happy. Not always happy. We fought, a lot. But we somehow manage to talk about it and all that. But yeah. I really am happy. I mean. He is suck sometime. But i love him. Haha

And now im in my holiday mode. Yay. Not really. It is kinda bored. I spent my time with animes and movies and novels. And im currently reading Message in the Bottles by Nicholas Sparks. I hv about 60+ pages left. And currently watching Kuroko no Baske anime. Sighs. Why cant anime guy be real? Scratch that. Im going to malacca. In this week. Sighs. I dont want to go. But theres nothing i can do. You know. I always wanted to be a girl who independent. In every aspects. I guess my family wouldn't let me. Not now.

Okay, im tired. And sleepy. Kinda miss school and all my lads. Oh ya, im in love with 5 seconds of summer lmao. Alright see ya! Bye

I'm in love with anime?

konichiwa ! annyeonghaseyo ! bonjour ! hello !

lol hi. omggggg i miss writing here ! how long has it been anyway? my last post was....january wasn't it? hahah gomenasai T_T i was superrrr busy with school, assignments and exams. oh yes! i finished my sem 2 yay! and now continuing with sem 3. criEs im getting busy and busier. sighs

okay, so yesterday was the day of muet(m'sian university english test) for speaking. and i screwed up! idk, i am not confident of my speaking skills. but its okay. i tried my best.

and now i gonna tell y'all what i've been doing since january. kyaaaa! i watched anime ! A LOT. hahah i was bored. and i dont have any novel to read anymore. so i went to manga site. and read all interesting mangas( the one that caught my eyes) and the first manga i read was Say I Love You( Sukitte Ii Na Yo) it was so good. and great. yes im a sucker of romance things dont judge me :P so i googled for the anime ver. then i met my first anime crush <3 Yamato. omg why y'all kawaii animes doesn't exist?! he's so sweet. and caring. and handsome. lmao my friends would be giving me wtf face if they read this rn. hahah

and then, i watched Sword Art Online. sobS I LOVE KIRITO and ASUNA(kirisuna all the wayyyy) who doesn't? after i watched SAO, then i became a hunter of shounen, action, adventure anime. but now i dont really mind. i kinda watch all genre now. and yes! im in love wih fairy tail <3 i just love the bond between the guild members(fairytail guild especially) and yeah, my favorite character is Gray Fullbuster ! and ofcourse i called myself Juvia Lockser lmAo kidding. i just love how juvia chase gray around and never give up ! lol and my current fav character is Levi Ackerman from Attack on Titan(Shingeki no Kyojin) omggggg i loveeee himmmmm. idk i think i loveeeeee guys who are cold and has bitchface face, like Levi and Gray. plus Gray is ice mage too! ice=cold. so thats make sense right?

tehee so anime that i watched so far were ~~

1. Say I Love You( Sukitte Ii Na Yo)

2. Sword Art Online

3. Angel Beats

4. High School of The Dead

5. Fairy Tail <3

6. Blue Exorcist (Ao No Exorcist)

7. Attack on Titan(Shingeki no Kyojin)

8. Kaichou wa Maid sama USUIIIII <333

9. Death note

10. La Storia della Arcana Famiglia

11. Kimi ni Todoke (one of the best romance anime for me lol)

12. My Little Monster (Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun) HARUUUU BB

13. Deadman Wonderland

and now im currently watching Toradora, Kuruko no Basuke, Rosario Vampire andddd Strike The Blood. im looking for Black Butler(Kuroshitsuji) actually. but too really bad i can't watch it online. blame the slow internet connection ! :( but meh, im gonna look for it somehow x)

so yeah, tmr is sports day. but im not going. pre-u students hv nothing to do with it anyway so im just gonna lay on my bed and watch movies+animes yay !

okay thats all, but really. i miss reading everyone posts. sighs. see ya soon ! jaa ~

love,

Ain

The saddest night ever. FOR REAL

Hi all.

Okay lets skip all the bubbly greetings i always did. Because right now. I am so very sad. Very very sad. No joke.

My cat, died. My forever favorite cat died.

Right in front of me. I can't even fangirl right now eventho that is what i do every night.

But right now, i just can't.

I never cried as much as i did tonight. To be honest, im crying while typing this.

She was the first cat i ever slept with, played with. Cause i am scared to cat, since i was born. But this one, i love her so much. She has two baby kittens. Sadly, it died too. In this week too.

How can i deal with it? I dont expect to lost my favorite cat ever.

I cried even harder when she was out of breath. Curling up myself cause i cant watch it anymore.

I dont know. Im just, too sad right now.

Im sorry for the unproductive post tonight.

Bye

2013 recap

hello there loves !

kyaa today is the last day of 2013 /yeay and should i add a little bit, last day of holiday! :) can you see how excited i am haha that is definitely with sarcastic tone ladies and gents . sobs so im gonna do some 'wrap' lol to my 2013. so basically, it was a great year. indeed.

JANUARY
well in jan i went to my sister house, malacca. basically january was 'well' spent with non-stop increasing the amount of fats in my body ! haha and here some selca of me and my little ones ! haha i love him so much kk. he's my only friend there. lol. and yeah ! that is the beginning of my life as exo fans. haha you can see my bias derping there XD dont let me start with his cuteness asdfgjkl ;;

FEBRUARY

and then february ! actually i started working as cashier in petronas by the end of jan, but meh. can't you see how 'oh-so-hardworking' i am. mann it was great! and tiring, im not gonna lie to you. sometimes i wish i can stop standing and just lie there lol. i had to work in what around 8 hours like that? no sitting at all can you feel me? haha but still, it was great and it does make me think 'wow it is hard to make money' haha and there is my workmates? they're all so nice. ugh i wish i can turn back time. have i tell you that i went to mcD almost everyday while working there? why? because it just next to where i work sooo.... XD

MARCH

well in march, it was when all 95-batch student didn't sleep at night before the result came out. haha let be honest here, i didn't even thinking about the result. i was peacefully sleeping yo. haha and the next day. you need to see how pathetic i look like. swollen red eyes. crying too much because of my not so good result. sobs. and the worst thing is, i HAD to work for 16 hours on the day the result came out. most of the workers are in my age that time. im the only one who didn't take the result cause, daaa i was awayyyy from my hometown.

APRIL

and then in this month, i quit with working thingy.and head back to le hometown weee. i was super duper excited. i miss my mom soo much. and of course my friend. but yeah, it's kinda sad tho leaving all bittersweet memories there. i took a lot of photos with them actually. hehe. and yeah of course i met my beloved bestfriends who i called "little sister"(cause im the oldest one) now. and the picture, bottom left. that dark (hahaha) man is my brother. and the others were his friends. he's the one that fetched me from airport keke. 

'

MAY

Okay in this month ! i am officially a student. again ! the only different was, PRE-U student. haha i never thought i would go back there but sadly(?) i did. you should read my previous posts about how frustrated i am cause i didn't make it to university. not that my result that bad, i guess. just not my luck. the first day was okay. ands then i started to accept the life as student again. hehe. and as a junior to senior pre-u students. we have to organise everything for teachers day. and i'm in food department ! haha i must admit, i enjoyed the foods, much. /sorry cikgu. Andd exo made a comeback after a freaking year. i was sooo happy when i saw the tweet that they gonna make a comeback, like uff about time SM. you've been keeping these ridiculously handsome boys for a longgg time. haha

JUNE

okayyy mid year holidayyy ! haha june was the month for me and my friends to visit my non-muslim friends who celebrate Hari Gawai. we called it 'ngabang' here in sarawak. it was a lot of fun! it doesn't have much different with hari raya celebration. ohya! my friend me told me one thing, all the man in the village must visit all houses there and with a little speech or something, i can't remember well tho. amazing isn't it? i think it is! and yeah my classmates decided to 'make over' our classroom! plus i went here and there that month. still not in exam mode /lazy as always

JULY

it was the month that im officially eighteen. and it was muslim fasting month. sure theres a lot of photos but mehh i won't let you guys suffer from my ewww selfies. keke. i can't recall what the event in that month i guess there's nothing really interesting except for school in stuff. and 

AUGUST

yehet ~ Hari Raya Celebration ! haha well it was great. idk how does people in the city celebrate Hari Raya but i celebrate it in my hometown, sure it was moreee fun there! and i met my bf cough after a whole year mann long distance relationship is hard but um im fine with it now. read here if you wanna know how sad my first day Raya was. and here some of my family photos. okay you can see me and my brothers looks diff because of our skin color, simply because i stay home and they went out, no i am not adopted. some people asked me am i adopted or what because i look diff from 'em what the crap hahahah. as usually, went out with my friends, because that is the only time we can meet. sobs

SEP & OCT & NOV

the month that i started to panic ! of course because stpm is around the corner, and yes we r busy with studies, homeworks and all that. it was hella stressful months. not enough time to sleep. everything was so ugh tiring. i did cried without reason, too much maybe. well heck, im not that strong. hehe it was a lot of extra classes for us. it was indeed, a hectic, tiring days i've been going through. and the woman in pink is my general studies teacher ! she is the nicest teacher ever ! haha i really hopeee im gonna pass her subject. /finger cross. 

DECEMBER 

well i guess you knew it already. how did i spent my holidays. haha eat, sleep, read, fangirling. just that, period. haha 

So, this is my 2013 experiences(roughly) ofcourse. it was filled with much fun. yeah a lil bit of down moments, but hey ! that's life right? i love new year ! i'm not gonna forget this year, but i am sure i will try to be a better person in 2014. and create new,good, happy memories. and make new friend. do well in studies.  eat less. aamiin. 

idk if i'm gonna post anything after this, cause im surely gonna be occupied by school things next year, nevertheless, i hope all of my readers here gonna have a blast in 2014, happy new year. be happy and healthy , and may odds be ever in your favor haha kidding ! /flying kisses/ 

till then, goodbye. and assalamualaikum :) xx

p/s sorry for typos or mistakes, you knoww me hehehe and plsss ignore my face ;<

p/s/s im leaving you guys my-boyfriend-who-doesn't-know-my-existance picture. i know. creepy

Libster Award

Assalamualaikum and hello people <3 kyaa it's been awhile since i last updated isn't it? how are you doing guys? Okay let's just do this okay, i am nominated by this pretty girl Janice for this libster award. Tbh i don't quite understand lol and thank god there's Mister Google keke. okay let's start noww

•  For those who have less than 200 followers on Bloglovin, this is a great opportunity for small and news blogs to find new readers and connect with everyone in the blogging community!

•  If I have nominated you, all you have to do to receive the award is to follow me on Google Friend Connect (GFC) and then answer a few questions! Make sure that when you nominate people you are following them and send them a message letting them know you have done so (suggest at most 11 nominations).

 My Nominators goes to /drumrolls
Fatin - http://fatinhumairah94.blogspot.com/
Najihah - http://supersweetcola.blogspot.com
Lee - http://xoxo-layhunhan.blogspot.com
Mi - http://justbemi.blogspot.com/

okay i'm gonna answer some question from Janice haha im soo excited lol

1 ) What made you start blogging?
  I start blogging from a post i read from fb, it's about thirteen years old girl who has brain cancer. She has a blog and her posts was quite sad about how people around her ignore her even she's sick. her posts make me think "should i make my own blog, people can read what i felt if i'm gone" something like that haha i know it's silly. But the owner of the blog really passed away tho. Al Fatihah :(

2 ) What TV shows did you grow up watching?
 I think i grew up watching That's So Raven lol and maybe Spongebob too, until now 

3 ) What is your scariest nightmare?
 What a great question ! It was my nightmare around couple days ago and i swear it's the scariest nightmare i ever had. It's about all people around me, i mean all of them includes my neighbourhood became a zombie ! and of course i survived with a freaking rifle with me! haha scary isn't it? right? ;>

4 ) What's one of your nervous habits?
 Usually i bite my lips and get stomach ache, everytime if i'm nervous. my bf knows that haha well, mehh 

5 ) What is the first thing you notice about a person?
 Um their eyes or the way they speak? haha idk but i definitely look into their eyes first lol 

6 ) What quote/phrase do you live by in your life?
 I'm not sure if i have any but i  usually/always remind myself to not give up and to not care about what people say. yeah 

7)If you had one personal "selfish" wish, what would it be and why?
ONE? haha i have many of them actually. but right now, my wish is I want to meet EXO D.O and spend a day with him not as a idol and fan, but as friends. why? because i want to know what kind of person he is in real life HAHA . Can? puhlissss

Okay done! haha i enjoyed answering these questions. sorry my answers quite ugh boring and typical but it's 6 a.m right now and i'm sleepy keke sorry sweetheart! <33

so here's my question ~~
1. What is blogging for you? 
2. What kind of person you think you are?
3. Your favorite movies and novels?
4. Supernatural power you would love to have?
5. One word to describe yourself
6. Where would you like to travel to and why?
7. Zombie apocalypse or end of the world, why?
8. Your fav singer/band.
9. What is your opinion about KPOP?
10. If i'm your genie right now, and i will grant 3 wish, what will it be?

okay, that's all for now ! keke till then, bye xx